Thursday, November 8, 2012

The Lament of My Soul

The peace of my mind is tormented by the ailments of my will. The heart, says the Divine, is desperately wicked. Who can know it? Indeed, who can know the heart except God?

It devises murderous plans against me. It waits until a moment of weakness to breach the walls of my will. My spirit often rebukes the slothfulness of my intellect. What fool keeps the gates of his kingdom open for attack?

So I am left accused in the end, desperately seeking the mercy from God our Savior. Broken, I fall before him. Like a son who lacks wisdom, who is torn with shame. I approach the Father while not daring to look upon his face, otherwise his eyes would set fire to my soul!

Dare I look to the Son, the just judge of the Kingdom? I cannot, for I have betrayed his cross. I have made a mockery of his suffering.

To whom shall I look upon first if not the Mother of the Lord Jesus, who is full of motherly affection and mercy? She desires that all would be drawn to her son and prays unceasingly for it.

"Beneath your compassion,
We take refuge, O Mother of God:
do not despise our petitions in time of trouble:
but rescue us from dangers,
only pure, only blessed one."

Therefore, I shall first approach the Mother of God in my time of need, in my sin, in my filthy garments. She shall first console me and tell me of the many graces given to us through her Immaculate Heart from the Holy One.

Only then will I approach her Son, the Just Judge, and fall prostrate before His throne.
"Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.
Christ, graciously hear us."
He will remind me of his cross, which he bore for us. He will reveal to me the vastness of His Divine Love. He will show me the ocean of His Divine mercy!

Only then will he allow me to enter into this ocean and be cleansed. Only then will he show me his grace when I have shown my repentance.

"Heart of Jesus, Son of the Eternal Father, have mercy on us."

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